For many college families, Thanksgiving Break is the first extended visit home after move-in day.
Parents are excited.
Students are excited.
Everyone is looking forward to being together again.
And then sometimes...
It feels a little different than expected.
That's completely normal.
Thanksgiving Break often serves as the first glimpse into how much everyone has changed during the first few months of college.
They've Changed More Than You Realize
College students experience a lot in a short amount of time.
They've been making decisions on their own.
Managing their schedules.
Handling classes, friendships, roommates, and responsibilities.
Even if they still need plenty of guidance, they've been practicing independence every day.
When they come home, you may notice:
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New routines
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Different sleep schedules
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New interests
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Different perspectives
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Greater confidence in some areas
Some changes will be obvious.
Others may be more subtle.
Home Doesn't Feel Exactly the Same
Students often spend weeks looking forward to coming home.
Then they arrive and discover something unexpected.
Home feels familiar.
But it doesn't feel exactly the same.
Their college routine has become normal.
Their dorm, apartment, friends, and campus life have become part of who they are.
It can take a few days to settle back into family life.
Expect a Little Transition Time
The first day or two home can sometimes feel surprisingly awkward.
Students may seem:
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Tired
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Quiet
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Overstimulated
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Emotional
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Completely exhausted
Remember that they've likely just finished midterms, projects, exams, and a busy semester.
Sometimes what looks like disinterest is simply exhaustion.
A little patience goes a long way.
Be Careful About Old Rules
One common source of tension during breaks is the sudden return of household rules.
Parents may still see their student as the teenager who left in August.
Students may see themselves as adults who have been making decisions independently for months.
Neither perspective is completely wrong.
This doesn't mean there shouldn't be expectations at home.
It simply means that some flexibility and communication can help avoid unnecessary conflict.
Resist the Urge to Interrogate
It's natural to have questions.
Lots of questions.
How are classes?
What grades are they getting?
How's the roommate situation?
Are they eating well?
Making friends?
Getting enough sleep?
Instead of trying to cover everything in one conversation, allow information to come naturally.
Some of the best discussions happen while:
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Driving somewhere
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Watching a game
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Walking the dog
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Shopping together
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Cooking a meal
The more relaxed the environment, the more likely students are to open up.
Enjoy the Ordinary Moments
Many parents imagine Thanksgiving Break will be filled with deep conversations and meaningful family time.
Sometimes it is.
But often the moments you'll remember most are surprisingly ordinary.
A late-night snack.
Watching a movie together.
Hearing them laugh with siblings.
Seeing their shoes by the door again.
The break goes quickly.
Don't spend all of it worrying about the next departure.
A Final Thought
Thanksgiving Break can be a reminder that your student is no longer exactly the person who left for college a few months ago.
That's not a bad thing.
Growth is the goal.
The transition home may feel a little different.
The transition back to campus may feel a little different too.
Both are signs that your student is building a life in two places now.
And while that adjustment isn't always easy, it's a normal part of the college journey.
Related Resources
• The W-Curve: Understanding Your Student's First Year of College
• Homesickness Happens: How to Support Without Hovering
• What College Parents Can Do During Winter Break (That Actually Helps)
• Winter Break Reset: A Simple Checklist Before Spring Semester